Food Allergies and Happiness

We were driving in the car coming from baseball practice and going to the pet store for some fish supplies.  My younger son, now eight, started talking about his long awaited hamster.  I asked him, “So…you still want a hamster?”  He shouted, “Yes!” from the backseat.  We have been talking about a hamster for about a year or two now.  We’ve created a collection of toy hamsters and tracks during this time—parents’ procrastination prerogative.  So I replied, “Well, we did promise you a hamster when you become nine years old—mature enough to clean the cage.”  He gleefully hollered, “My life will be complete!”

At the ripe old of eight, his life is almost already complete, less a hamster.  How great is that?  As I relentlessly seek to continue writing and working and finding more studies that interest me, why can’t I determine that my life, so full of love and happiness, is complete?  It makes me wonder about my attitude towards our food allergies as well—for the past ten years I think I’ve made every birthday-blow-out-the-candle-wish that the food allergies would--well--just disappear.  They haven’t.  Does that make my life incomplete?  Does it make me unhappy? 

No.  It better not.  There are a lot of things that can go wrong with peoples’ lives in this world…from physical, to mental health issues…from accidents to tragedies.  Watching television tells us more than we ever want to know about psychopaths, war, poverty, cruelty and all sorts of medical issues that plague us to the point where everyone is impacted by way of our shared and ever-increasing health insurance premiums. 

I no longer feel unhappy about our food allergies.  I don’t even like dairy any more.  My older son swears he’ll never eat it, even if he outgrows it.  He even says he likes his allergies.  How can that be?  I accept them but only because they’ve made us healthier—I cook dinner every night.  Yes every night, except for when we have leftovers—no take-out, no fast food, no school lunches.  I do not always feel like making dinner, but I like eating it.  In fact, I love eating it.  I don’t even like eating out anymore, aside from the social factor, as I prefer my own home cooked mostly organic food.  I sleep better, feel better and happier. 

So make your life more complete: Don’t feel unhappy about food allergies.  Make the best of them, cook for yourself and buy the foods you love for your children and yourself.  Be safe and don't worry (too much).

Buyer Beware

There is a commercial on television that really upsets my eight year old.  The image is of a mother holding her baby while she is coughing.  My son started yelling, “Why is she holding him if she has a cough!”  He was definitely taken in by that contagious situation portrayed in the commercial. The advertiser wants to frighten the viewer into getting a vaccination so that we don’t pass on whooping cough to our child—(they want to increase sales of their vaccination).

My older ten year old son was watching a different commercial on play dough.  He saw a new toy that can be used to mix the dough into various shapes.  Then he adeptly realized that that will ruin the play dough and will cause the kids to need to buy more.  I was amazed that he figured that out and further said that it was probably the strategy of the company to increase their sales, not only through the toy, but also for more dough.

Soon after these incidents, I received an email from an allergy mom web site.  She appeared to be promoting a new drug to cure allergies.  I looked up the drug on the Internet and did some superficial research.  The drug Omalizumab sold under the name of Xolair appears to help those with allergies within a relatively short period of time.  When I reviewed the side effects, there was some discussion of cancer—but no overwhelming proof that this drug caused cancer but some evidence such as, “This medicine may increase your risk of certain types of cancer…”1 and “Oncologic side effects have included malignancies in 0.5% of patients (n=4127) compared with 0.2% of control patients (n=2236). The types of malignancies in omalizumab-treated patients included breast, skin (nonmelanoma), prostate, melanoma, and parotid.”2  No thanks--I’d prefer not to have to deal with another illness.

All of this reminded me of when a company had approached me, soon after my book was published, to develop a food allergy web site with them.  Their primary goal was to “monetize” the sight.  This meant they would add advertisements and links to products that would generate hits and money for my site.  I declined.  My primary objective in writing my book and blog was and still is to reach out and help others.

When a person’s goals get confused, so do their values and thus their actions.  For example, once income is the primary goal, then other values can become compromised.  I had this impression from this aforementioned allergy web site years ago.  The articles in each newsletter contained a lot of links to products and their web sites.  Was the founder of this site recommending all of these products or just trying to generate income from them?  I think that site is an example of a highly "monetized" enterprise. The bottom line is that we as consumers and parents of children with food allergies need to be a somewhat skeptical or at least be inquisitive.    

The term “Buyer Beware” is explained as,

“A warning that notifies a buyer that the goods he or she is buying are "as is," or subject to all defects. When a sale is subject to this warning the purchaser assumes the risk that the product might be either defective or unsuitable to his or her needs. This rule is not designed to shield sellers who engage in fraud or bad faith dealing by making false or misleading representations about the quality or condition of a particular product. It merely summarizes the concept that a purchaser must examine, judge, and test a product considered for purchase himself or herself.”3

My recommendation is to take a good look at drugs and do your own research on allergy related products.  Consider who is recommending them and why?  Are they getting a kick-back for the sale of this product?  Are there negative side effects of this product that you are willing to accept for your child?  How long has the product been on the market?  How many studies have been done?  Are there alternative products that may not be heavily marketed because there is no large company behind them to generate a profit?

Consider your options carefully and fully.

1 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMHT0011491/?report=details

2 http://www.drugs.com/sfx/omalizumab-side-effects.html

3 http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Buyer+beware

Scared to Eat Out?

Are you or your child scared to eat outside of your home?  Do you wonder exactly what is in food that has been prepared by a friend or a restaurant?  Do you trust the person who made it? Do you trust the waiter who explains what is in it?  Do they know the seriousness of your food allergy? 

Not only is it perfectly natural to feel apprehensive about eating a food that is prepared without the mandated regulations that help to define ingredient lists and methods for food preparation, but I think it is smart as well.  For instance, my mother is allergic to MSG and develops migraine headaches when she has some.  She often asks wait staff whether the soup, gravy or dressing contains it—but she is often suspicious when the reply is too quickly, “Oh no—none of that.”  To make matters more complex, MSG is often hidden by other names such as 'hydrolyzed vegetable protein' she researched in Dr. George Schwartz's book, "The MSG Syndrome."

Another example of a cautious and smart girl is a friend of ours who has allergies to peanuts and tree nuts.  She comes to my son’s birthday parties year after year—her parents are so much fun.  While her mom checks with me about the ingredients in the cupcakes or cake and I advise her there are no peanuts, tree nuts, dairy or egg her daughter usually opts for her own home-baked cupcake.  Why?  She feels safer and so the party is more fun and relaxing for her. 

A hostess should never ever feel insulted or not trusted if a food-allergic person doesn’t eat food they prepared, even if the hostess went to trouble to make it allergy-free.   Consider these reasons—cross contamination can easily occur.  Perhaps yesterday a peanut butter and jelly sandwich was made on a cutting board.  That night it was washed, but there are protein residues remaining in the board.  Then vegetable or fruit is sliced and picks up those peanut proteins—this can easily affect a child or adult with a peanut allergy.  A hostess should also consider the consequences of a mistake.  We all make mistakes.  Do we want to be responsible for making a mistake that can actually cause someone to have to go to the hospital?  I think not.    

We really don’t know what it is like to have a food allergy, unless we have one.  I have tried, many a time, to imagine what it would be like to have a food allergy myself, but I probably just can’t get there one hundred percent.  I know what is it like to have children with life threatening food allergies—it makes a mother worry—really worry, to say the very least.

The best thing a hostess can do when having food allergic guests is to: (a) Not get insulted if they bring their own food or refuse something even if the hostess went to some trouble to make it allergy-free, and (b) Save the packages of store bought food so that the food allergic person (or parent) can double-check the ingredients to ensure there are no allergens—or produced in a factory where allergens exist.  I have heard of children reacting to cookies made in a factory that also handles peanut containing foods, for instance.  It is no joke.

The bottom line is that children, adults and parents should feel perfectly justified in doing what makes them and their children safe.  Hosts and hostesses should be understanding—even if they can’t completely understand what it feels like to have a food allergy or what can happen to a person if they ingest the allergen.  Be nice.

Food Allergies in Disney & Sea World

Last week we took our first big family vacation to Disney and Sea World.  Our boys are eight and nine and we waited until now for several reasons.  First, we wanted them to remember it.  I only vaguely remember my childhood trip when I was five.  My husband has advised that the cognitive memory doesn’t develop until after five.  Second, we were concerned about our kids’ food allergies to dairy and egg.  Waiting until these ages has helped because our younger son outgrew his dairy allergy at age five and his egg yolk allergy at age seven.  Now we only need to contend with his egg white allergy and our older son’s dairy and egg allergy—which are now moderate, no longer severe.  Furthermore, the boys want to eat foods that do not make them sick, so there is no complaining.

We decided to stay in a resort off-site so that we could have a little extra room and a full kitchen.  My mother was kind enough to purchase some allergen-free groceries for us and bring them to our room.  We cooked and ate in our room whenever we could.  This served us well—as we were comfortable with the foods we were eating and it kept the costs down as compared to dining in a restaurant for every meal.  My friend advised me that she used Green Grocer to order food and have it delivered to their room.  She advised that it was a little more expensive than a normal grocery store—but still, probably less than dining out or renting a car to do the grocery shopping.

When we could not eat in our room because we were on-site at Disney and Sea World, we learned the protocol for ordering allergen-free foods.  In both places, we were required to order through a manager.  The manager had the ingredients of each food and was able to show it to us.  Disney seemed more prepared to do this, with ingredient lists in a ready-prepared-binder, while Sea World had to bring out the bag of the item.  Disney assured us that the foods would be prepared in a kitchen that was set up for allergy-folk and even had a separate fryer for foods like French fries to avoid cross contamination.  Sea World had a separate grill for cooking burgers, chicken and assured us they used a separate fryer as well for French fries.  Both places provided us with foods that our kids could eat without any allergic reactions—but we felt safer with the Disney restaurant.   They seemed to be more educated and prepared for the food-allergy parent. 

One final word—we took a day off in between each day “on.”  Our sons (and we) needed the rest and I think it served us all well.  As we all know, kids who have food allergies are dealing with an immune system that is over-reactive.  So I think it is important to not stress those kids’ bodies too much—such as taking them to a theme park every day for several days in a row.   Be sure to read the theme park‘s literature on food allergies before you go, so that you feel prepared. 

Thanksgiving with Food Allergies

Aren’t the holidays are already hard enough?  Seeing relatives who don’t relate—?   Now add to that bowl of mixed nuts or mashed potatoes a tree nut, peanut or dairy allergy and there is likely to be an explosion of emotions.  Take solace in the fact that firstly, you are not alone.  Secondly, there are some ways to avoid the sparks—like the moms who have shared their stories in “Flourishing with Food Allergies.”

Here are some things to try:

• Two weeks before the holiday:  Once you know who is hosting, you should start the communication by calling or emailing.  Explain nicely something along the lines of, “As you probably remember, our son/daughter is allergic to [nuts, peanuts, dairy, soy, egg] and so we want to make it easy for everyone involved so we will bring some allergy-free food for our child.”  This will take the pressure off of the hostess and also serve as a reminder to him or her when they are deciding on whether or not to buy a bag of tree nuts or peanuts for the coffee table.  This may also allow the hostess to pass along the information to others who may be bringing food.
• One week before the holiday:  Talk to your spouse and child in a formal way (i.e. at dinner or when there are limited distractions).  Explain that you are going to Aunt Allergy-Food for Thanksgiving and you have contacted her to remind her of the allergy and advise her that you will be bringing some food for your son/daughter.  If there is to be frustration expressed between spouses, it is best to air it well before the holiday and give it time to settle back down, rather than the night before or the day of the holiday.  This communication will also set the expectation for your child that they will have their own food on the big day.
• One day before the holiday:  Talk to your child again, alone and confirm what food they want at the big event.  Tell them that you want to make them happy and have the foods they want.  Make sure you have that food purchased, prepared and a ready-to-go-cooled container.  Explain to your child that he or she is not allowed to eat anything, unless they ask you first.  Tell them there will be many snacks that may make them sick.  This way, your child has an expectation of the situation and will not be so angry to find out that they can’t eat the food once they see it.  Hopefully the fruit, vegetables and other some other safe snacks will make the child pleasantly surprised.
• On the holiday:  Bring your child’s requested, favorite foods as well as some traditional food for the holiday such as a turkey breast that you cooked or some corn bread that is safe.   Most children don’t like trying new foods so as long as their bellies and mouths are full with something they like, there will be fewer problems.  By providing a new food or two (e.g. corn muffin, cranberry) their eyes and curiosity will hopefully be satisfied as well.  Always remember to bring your child’s EpiPen and some antihistamine with your own spoon or measuring cup. 

At the holiday—try to relax.  Keep an eye on your child without chasing them around.  If there is an obvious problem with food placement (a plate of peanut butter cookies on the coffee table) casually move them to higher ground with a smile and some grace.  Undoubtedly someone (often the less sensitive sorts) will try to engage in a food allergy discussion, often right in front of your children.  Try to be nice and excuse yourself if you sense they are the disbelieving type and will try to argue about the reality of it.   If the holiday environment is too chaotic or if you sense there will soon be an catastrophe, then keep it short and be on your way. 

Keep your children safe and yourself calm.  Try to make it a Happy Thanksgiving.