CHAPTER 37: MY HUSBAND'S PERSPECTIVE 

...Helping each other is the best way my wife and I support each other. I try to be as informed as I possibly can about food allergies and ingredients. I take the allergies seriously and try to provide my wife with a backup at every point. I feel strongly that the best way to help my wife is to get with the program, and more than that, to improve the program. Simply being on the team means there is a team. This will lighten her load significantly. Again, as the husband, one of my jobs is risk mitigation. We both cross-check each other constantly on ingredient lists, and render appropriate reminders to make sure we bring the EpiPen® Jr. on outings.

More than that though, I view my role as one of moral support. Trust me—your wife needs to have her load lightened. Remember that as you go through the stages described above, she will, too. There was a period during which my wife was in despair. She had hit the depression phase. I was closer to acceptance at that time and was able to lend some valuable perspective. It is important to try to bring the other person along wherever you can. In trying to bring the other person to a positive place, often you bring yourself to a more positive place. I have reminded her many times that everyone gets a bag of hammers in life to drag around. Our bag of hammers is serious and weighty but others have a harder time, a bigger bag of hammers. It helps to see that we have blessings too. In reminding her, I am also reminded. It always makes me feel better....

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